Oh boy, what a roller coaster of a year 2022 had been! 2022 was the closest to a normal year we have had in a while and it came with it’s challenges. I remember a conversation I had on 31st December 2021 – a friend asked me what my resolutions were. I remember telling her that I did not have any resolutions but I wanted a peaceful life and I was wiling to pursue that in 2022. I can add my voice to the many that have said that 2022 was not an easy year – however, I did have peace in all the ups and downs. I decided to reinforce my boundaries and live my values as best as I could – these conscious actions brought me so much peace and for 2023, I will pursue the same as well as other goals I have set for myself.
Someone once told me that you can have peace in the midst of turmoil and that is what happened for me. I was very careful who I let into my circle and was very critical of existing connections. There were many issues around me however, I chose what and who I responded to and got my attention. These did not come easy because it was not what I was used to but I was determined to do things different this time. As I reflected on the past year and how I had consciously done things in 2022, I thought it good to continue living this way in 2023!
So you may ask, what are some of the things I did differently in my pursuit of peace? Well, I have decided to share a few;
Mind your damn business – not everything and everyone needs your attention and it is ok to not be invited or included. This was quite hard for me because I had always led my life feeling I needed to do things for people so I could be accepted. This saw me getting involved in things that had nothing to do with me in my bid to show loyalty and gain the same. What I realised in the last couple of years is that people are loyal to what benefits them and I needed to look out for myself – in this case, my peace. If I ever found myself getting involved in things that did not concern me, I checked myself and recommitted to my goal.
Tell some people to fuck off – really, you must! I cannot tell you how many posts I saw on social media this year encouraging us to tell more people to fuck off – and I listened. People know what they are doing and if you do not set boundaries, you will be taken advantage of. I am a giver and I have been privileged to know many givers in my life. I have also known many takers and what I realise about these group of people is that they will keep on taking if you allow them. At the first sign of boundaries, they will label you as being a bad person. I am here to tell you that it is ok to be labelled as bad by those that seek to take advantage of you. What they think of you is their business and we are minding our damn business this year. Tell them to fuck off who seek to disrupt your peace, it will save you many regrets!
Let your no be enough – Why do we easily accept the yeses of people but question their judgement when they say no? I have started asking people if my no is not good enough when they refuse to accept it. We should normalise respecting the wishes of people regardless if the answer we get is what we wanted or not. One of my biggest triggers is feeling disrespected and I had identified several places and people who constantly triggered me. I stopped reacting and started saying no to these places and people to protect my peace, well being and for my self esteem. Someone saying no is not because they are bad – they have a right to say yes as well as saying no!
Don’t sabotage yourself – stick to what you have decided to do. Do not disrespect yourself by going back on what you have decided to do for yourself. Setting boundaries and seeking your peace of mind will come with opposition and sometimes losing people in the process. It is easy to look at the initial discomfort and go back on your plans. Stick to your convictions and forge ahead – when certain relationships and opportunities end, new ones will always come along with the next chapter. Exercise patience and self integrity – wait for the next season and its many opportunities. Now that you are pursuing peace, you will have the clarity to choose which of these opportunities and connections will be beneficial for your next chapter.
I hope these points I have shared encourages you to pursue whatever goals you have set for yourself. – I had practiced these in the last year and I will be carrying this forward in this new year. I also wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for your support this last year – I truly appreciate it. I look forward to hearing from you and sharing your experiences – let us be the change we need by being the change.