There’s a quiet movement happening among women. A shift in tone, in energy.
We’re calling it the “soft feminine era”.
It’s everywhere—on TikTok, in journal prompts, in the slow rebranding of self-care. It tells us to lean into ease, to receive rather than chase, to soften our edges, tap into our intuition, rest more, talk less. And for some women, it feels like a breath of fresh air.
A release. A relief. A return.
I’ve been seeing this trend on social media for some time now, and I must admit that I’ve even allowed myself to indulge in some of this content in the past—and I’ve genuinely enjoyed parts of it. But recently, I came across one such video during one of my usual scrolls, and something about it made me pause. This time, I felt uncomfortable.
Why were women wanting to step into their feminine era or energy? Who was this really for? And why?
I realised I’d seen this message before—many times. I had seen femininity coaches preaching softness and submission, often behind a paywall. I hadn’t thought much of it before. But this one video… it struck a nerve. It reminded me, uncomfortably, of red pill coaches.
How did we get here?
When did the feminine become a performance?
There’s something eerily familiar about the way this new femininity is being packaged. It’s quieter, gentler, more sensual—but it’s still a template. And any time we’re handed a template for how to “be a woman,” I get skeptical.
Because who benefits from women being soft, passive, aesthetically pleasing, and emotionally attuned to everyone but themselves?
Let me be clear: softness isn’t the problem.
What I’m side-eyeing is the “performance of softness”.
The curating of a vibe instead of the expression of a truth.
When we start identifying with a label like “feminine energy,” are we tuning into ourselves—or just trading one performance (grind culture, boss babe energy, hyper-independence) for another, more romanticised one?
Are we free, or are we “rebranded”?
Now—before I roll my eyes all the way back—there’s a necessary counterpoint.
For many women, this shift does feel like coming home. After years of survival mode, burnout, and “doing it all,” stepping into softness might be the first time they’ve felt safe enough to exhale.
They’re not being performative. They’re being intentional. Choosing softness not because they’re told to, but because their nervous systems are screaming for it.
For them, it’s not an aesthetic. It’s a reckoning.
And I can respect that. I really can.
Even so, I don’t think true softness is something you put on like a dress. It’s what shows up when you stop trying to be anything at all.
The truth is: we don’t need to “perform” femininity to be whole.
We don’t need to enter a “soft era” or embody “divine feminine energy” to justify rest, intuition, or tenderness.
We’re allowed to feel powerful and gentle, rageful and exhausted, ambitious and nurturing—all at once, or not at all.
Femininity isn’t something we have to earn or embody. It isn’t a brand. It isn’t a strategy. It’s not even necessary. Because the most radical thing a woman can be is “unperformed”.
And that might be the real era we’re ready for.
Thank you for taking the time to read, share, like, and comment. Let’s keep showing up, speaking honestly, and creating the change we need—one shared experience at a time.
Koya Nkrumah 