We often grow up calling pain “discipline” and fear “respect.” But what happens when humiliation becomes the language of love — and we carry that into adulthood? I wrote about a story that stayed with me for years, and what it revealed about how abuse shapes what we tolerate. Change begins when we name what shaped us
What Childhood Friendships Taught Me About Adult Boundaries!
A reflective essay on friendship, attachment, and self-betrayal — and what it means to choose connection without losing yourself.
The Discomfort of Becoming: Why Outgrowing Yourself is Necessary.
I used to mistake the discomfort of growth for losing myself. But I realized: I wasn’t losing who I was—I was shedding what I had outgrown. If your cocoon no longer fits, this reflection is for you.
Aim at Nothing, You Hit Nothing: Why Alignment Matters More Than Goals
A single line from a film stopped me in my tracks: “Aim at nothing, and you hit nothing.” Not because it was profound — but because I finally understood what it wasn’t talking about. This reflection explores why aiming inward matters more than New Year goals.
Choosing Joy on My Own Terms
For the first time, I didn’t feel like I was on the outside looking in. This Christmas, I didn’t perform joy or tradition — I chose to be present. What I found was a quieter, gentler kind of joy that met me exactly where I was.
Accountability to Whom? Rethinking Why We Police Women’s Choices
In the past few years, I’ve noticed a growing chorus — online, in conversations, even in women’s spaces — repeating the same question: “But how do we hold women accountable? It appears every time a woman’s personal decision enters public discussion. And the more I hear it, the more I find myself questioning what people … Continue reading Accountability to Whom? Rethinking Why We Police Women’s Choices
When the Rules Cut Deeper Than Hair
Why Are We Still Shaving Our Daughters’ Hair? The Colonial Rules That Keep Us Bound Generations after colonial rule ended, many Ghanaian schools still enforce hair-shaving policies rooted in control, not culture. It’s time we ask — why are we still upholding rules designed to make us small? A Viral Video That Struck a Nerve … Continue reading When the Rules Cut Deeper Than Hair
Choosing Myself: Navigating Identity Between Two Worlds.
When I first moved to the UK, every outing felt like a doorway to something new. I said yes to almost every invitation, eager to learn, to belong. So when I got invited to my first party, I pictured a big meal, laughter around a table—the kind of gathering I’d known all my life. The … Continue reading Choosing Myself: Navigating Identity Between Two Worlds.
Beyond Dress Sizes: An African Woman’s Journey to Body Freedom.
Coming Home to My Body—how I broke up with diet culture and learned to love my Afrocentric self. I was in college when I overheard two boys talking about me. “She’s alright,” one said, “but she has bad skin.” How rude! I didn’t even have acne in my early teens, but I struggled in my … Continue reading Beyond Dress Sizes: An African Woman’s Journey to Body Freedom.
You Are Not Late: Redefining Milestones on My Own Terms
By 28, I was “supposed” to be married with 2.5 children, a family home, a dog, and a fulfilling career. But those were never my dreams. I wasn’t the little girl planning a wedding in her head. My parents and guardians had their blueprint, and they repeated it so often that I stopped myself from … Continue reading You Are Not Late: Redefining Milestones on My Own Terms
Koya Nkrumah 