Have you ever done everything “right” — updated your CV, reached out to people, sent countless emails — and still, nothing changed? How did that feel?
This week, while scrolling through social media, I came across a video of a young man sharing his frustrations. He had done it all: rewritten his CV, contacted recruiters, networked on LinkedIn, even attended events. Yet, he was still jobless. What struck me most was not just his struggle, but the way people kept offering him advice he had already followed — with no results to show for it.
We are taught that if we work hard, prepare well, and show up consistently, the results will follow. But what happens when you do all of that…and nothing moves?
The Weight of Disappointment
I know that heaviness. The frustration. The numbness. The anger. When you pour yourself into something and still come up empty, it chips away at your confidence and self-worth.
As a millennial, I grew up believing that hard work, good grades, and an austere lifestyle would guarantee a bright future. But in 2008, just as I left university, the financial crash hit. Jobs disappeared. Survival meant taking whatever work could pay the bills, not the “dream job” we had been promised.
Like the young man in that video, I spent years feeling like a failure. And like him, I kept hearing unsolicited advice from people who thought I wasn’t doing enough. They didn’t realise I had already tried everything they suggested. The disappointment was crushing.
Betrayal & Acceptance
I held on to the narrative that hard work + prayer = success. When it didn’t happen, I felt betrayed. I felt lied to. And I didn’t know what to do with that anger. So I kept it all inside, afraid of judgment.
It wasn’t until much later that I realised: I had done my best. And that was enough.
Acceptance didn’t erase the pain, but it opened a new truth — life is not linear.
Disappointment Beyond Work
I see the same cycle everywhere.
- In relationships, when one person sacrifices everything only to still feel unloved.
- In healing journeys, when one trigger drags you back after so much progress.
- In projects, when repeated attempts end in failure until you give up trying altogether.
The danger is when disappointment turns inward. We blame ourselves, then shame ourselves, until we feel bound and stuck.
Finding a Healthier Way
Disappointment is part of the journey, but it doesn’t have to be the end.
Sometimes, it’s a redirection — a nudge to pause, rest, or choose a different path. Sometimes, it’s a reminder that our worth is not tied to results.
Today, I process disappointment with journaling, breathwork, and gentleness. Because as long as we’re alive, disappointments will walk beside us. They show up in friendships, jobs, health, finances. We cannot escape them — but we can choose how we respond.
Reflections for You
- When disappointment hits, do you give up, push harder, shut down, or lash out?
- If you could speak to your younger self, what truth about disappointment would you share?
- What’s one lesson disappointment has taught you that might encourage someone else?
My Reminder to You
If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be this: Life is not linear. You are resilient. This is a phase. Give yourself grace.
Detours shaped me. Disappointments redirected me to friendships, skills, and opportunities I would never have found otherwise.
So, if you’re feeling stuck: take a break, seek fresh perspective, or try a new path. It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to change direction. And it’s okay to admit that you’ve done enough.
Because your worth is not tied to the outcome.
Smooth seas never made a seasoned sailor. Rough seas have ended many journeys. The key is balance: rest when you need to, set sail when you’re ready, and remember — this journey is yours.
Thank you for reading. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being here.
Let’s continue creating change—one shared experience at a time.
Koya Nkrumah 