Author: Koya Nkrumah
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The Making of a Double Standard
Five years later, we are still reducing women to numbers while men are applauded for the same choices. A woman’s worth is not a body count, a rumour, or a label. Until we confront the double standards we have normalised, we will keep confusing control with morality and shame with virtue.
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The Strong Black Woman Is Tired: Why Survival Is Not a Superpower
“Help me.” From the outside, it looked like strength. Inside, it was survival. In this piece, I reflect on the hidden fatigue behind the Strong Black Woman label and what it means to stop performing resilience for the comfort of others. If you’ve ever been the one expected to hold everything together, this reflection is…
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The Direction of Our Outrage
When a violation occurs, the direction of our outrage reveals our values. This piece reflects on consent, digital harm, and why women’s bodies so often become the focus of public shame instead of the exploitation itself.
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Decency Is Not a Reward for Compliance
A brief moment of dignity in a Ghanaian market stayed with me — and what followed after I named it revealed a pattern I could no longer ignore. This reflection explores entitlement, rejection, and why loneliness is so often framed as mystery rather than consequence.
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The Dignity of Bitterness.
When women speak honestly about disappointment, imbalance, and loss, they are often branded “bitter.” This essay reflects on how that word is used to silence women — especially those who dare to warn others from lived experience — and asks what we lose when we refuse to listen.
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When Discipline Becomes the Only Language of Love
We often grow up calling pain “discipline” and fear “respect.” But what happens when humiliation becomes the language of love — and we carry that into adulthood? I wrote about a story that stayed with me for years, and what it revealed about how abuse shapes what we tolerate. Change begins when we name what…
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What Childhood Friendships Taught Me About Adult Boundaries!
A reflective essay on friendship, attachment, and self-betrayal — and what it means to choose connection without losing yourself.
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The Discomfort of Becoming: Why Outgrowing Yourself is Necessary.
I used to mistake the discomfort of growth for losing myself. But I realized: I wasn’t losing who I was—I was shedding what I had outgrown. If your cocoon no longer fits, this reflection is for you.
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Aim at Nothing, You Hit Nothing: Why Alignment Matters More Than Goals
A single line from a film stopped me in my tracks: “Aim at nothing, and you hit nothing.” Not because it was profound — but because I finally understood what it wasn’t talking about. This reflection explores why aiming inward matters more than New Year goals.
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Choosing Joy on My Own Terms
For the first time, I didn’t feel like I was on the outside looking in. This Christmas, I didn’t perform joy or tradition — I chose to be present. What I found was a quieter, gentler kind of joy that met me exactly where I was.
Koya Nkrumah 