Tag: boundaries
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Why saying no feels unsafe when you’re the one everyone leans on.
“I would never have missed it for anything in the world!” To many reading the social media post that had this statement, it looked like a harmless message on the surface – but to me, it was a dismissal of something very serious that had happened to me. My crime? I had decided to not…
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It Takes a Village — But Who Holds the Village Up?
“She has nobody” These were the words I heard from my brother when I had already said no to my sister. I changed my mind and plans to accommodate everyone again – because I love them. Became the babysitter again – the children love me and I do love them so much. So last week,…
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Am I Auditioning?
“How come I am the one everyone wants around but never enough to be chosen?” These were words from a creator on TikTok. And I felt them. I knew the feeling too well and this TikTok creator had put words to it perfectly – so much so that it stopped my mindless scrolling. I was…
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You Can’t Go Back to Who You Used to Be
On a quiet commute, I found myself asking a question I couldn’t ignore: what is the point of all this? What followed was a slow, uncomfortable unraveling — one that forced me to confront who I had been, and who I was no longer willing to be.
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You Already Know What You Need to Let Go Of.
You already know what you need to let go of. Not because it’s broken, but because it’s costing you more than you’re willing to admit. This is a reflection on self-loyalty, quiet truths, and the strength it takes to release what no longer aligns—even when your heart is still holding on.
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The Strong Black Woman Is Tired: Why Survival Is Not a Superpower
“Help me.” From the outside, it looked like strength. Inside, it was survival. In this piece, I reflect on the hidden fatigue behind the Strong Black Woman label and what it means to stop performing resilience for the comfort of others. If you’ve ever been the one expected to hold everything together, this reflection is…
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What Childhood Friendships Taught Me About Adult Boundaries!
A reflective essay on friendship, attachment, and self-betrayal — and what it means to choose connection without losing yourself.
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When Family, Forgiveness, and Christmas Ask Too Much
A reflection on no contact, protection, and choosing peace As Christmas approaches, I’ve been thinking about family — and about the expectations that quietly come with this season. I recently came across a clip online where the topic of adult children choosing to go no contact with their parents was being discussed. The responses were…
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Standing Your Ground: Reclaiming the Strength I Almost Gave Away
When I was twenty, I lost my mother to cancer. Through my teens I had watched her fight with quiet courage, and I still feel the imprint of her kindness and extraordinary work ethic. In many ways, I carry her grace. Yet I’ve also always known that I’m my father’s daughter—especially in one key trait:…
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Lessons From 2023!
On January 1st 2023, I posted that I was choosing peace above all! Choosing peace in 2022 had served me well – especially in my dealings with family and family related issues; so I thought, why not continue on the same trajectory for 2023! What I forgot was that my choosing peace did not guarantee…
Koya Nkrumah 